THE FAST FOOD FARCE IS WITH US
Ok, I am pretty sure I have reached the peak of the musical mountain. Meaning that if I don’t go to another show for the rest of my life after last night, I am complete. Look Lovelies, I have seen a ton of bands over the years and I have been blown away by performances of some of these shows. I have witnessed miraculous abilities from singers, guitar players, bass players, and drummers. I have seen outstanding performances of the mixture of these individual musicians and what they play, create such a powerful force together, move me to tears. I’ve become a fan of styles of music that I never thought I would ever listen to, let alone love. However it all came to a head the night of March 3rd, 2018. Read on for the scoop…
Leading up to last night, when the GALACTIC EMPIRE/MAC SABBATH – MONSTERS OF MOCK VII tour was announced and press coverage was requested, I thought “sure, I’ll cover it, why not”. It looked like a gas.
Knowing that these two bands were a tad different in the way they presented their music, I made it a point not to read or watch anything about either band before the gig. I wanted the slate to be clean, the sand in the sandbox smooth, and my eyes to watch their sets with virgin vision, if you will.
Secretly, I’ve been more excited about this show than a person should be. Here’s a little 411 about me that I haven’t revealed to readers; I love musicals and I love theatre. In college (the first time I went), I worked towards a degree in musical comedy theatre. Anytime there’s a band that displays a little more theatrics or drama on stage, I’m always drawn to the performance. Like seeing KING DIAMOND blew my mind last year at PSYCHO VEGAS and if you took away the theatrics of his show, of course you’d still have an amazing band with talented musicians; but IMHO, it wouldn’t be as moving as seeing the props, the lights, the costumes, the backdrops, and the characterization of the music. You know what I mean?
Since the MONSTERS OF MOCK VII was announced late last year, the days rolled by and March 3 approached, my curiosity and anticipation were spawning like single-celled organisms in a petri dish and when March 3rd was finally here I was ready!
Both bands are coined as parody bands, but the content is vastly different. Each band brings to the stage an interpretation of their subject matter in different ways. Both bands have set designs, with props, backdrops, the performance has been blocked or the characters (in this case the musicians) have been positioned in rehearsals to have a general idea of where to go during the performance, costumes, and of course their instruments.
Staying with the billed line-up, I’ll tell you about GALACTIC EMPIRE first.
DUM DUM DUM DA DA DA DA DA DUM…
GALACTIC EMPIRE takes pieces of a blackout stage in their stage show with the exception of the moving lights, which lends to the notion of watching them in space, or along the moving lights is all the stage show really needs.
While it might be rad AF if DARK VADER (Chris Kelly) and some character from the Rebellion would have a full on lightsaber battle on stage, it might take away from the band’s message of delivering the music of STAR WARS. But really, GALACTIC EMPIRE uses their instruments as props in some respects. They don’t need anything else to aid the audience in bending their minds around the music they’re performing because it’s already familiar, and they play it SO well. And, it’s metal AF!!
Look, when you’re watching the show, you totally know at first, you’re looking at a dude in a costume holding a guitar or bass (for BOBA SETT a drum kit). Yet by the end of their set, those two things have magically fused together and what you now see is the characterization appearing as one entity.
I know, I know, but I’m not reaching here at all – it’s just hard to describe what happens on stage, really. Like for a STAR WARS fan of the nerdiest proportion, like I said, you know they’re dudes in suits…but by the end of the set, you totally feel like you’ve watched the alter egos, DARK VADER, or BOBA SETT, or a KYLE REN, or RED GUARD, or BASS COMMANDER, interpret the music that emphasizes the feelings and emotions of the scene they’re playing from. Or maybe you’re gaining a glimpse into DARK VADER’s or BOBA SETT’s room while they play the air guitar or the Empire’s version of Guitar Hero.
Technically speaking, the players have an acute knowledge of their instrument and are excellent players. Watching their fingers fly over the fretboards was like watching bugs fly around in the cascade of light at a Friday night football game in Texas. I’ve read where DARK VADER has said the music is very intricate even after the band has performed it over and over, it’s still difficult for them to remember at times. I can’t imagine it being an easy play, but the band does a killer job in replicating the essence of the Empire’s music. I have read that the process of separating and putting the scores included in their show took months for drummer Grant McFarland and bassist Carson Slovak to separate and hammer out the parts for each instrument to play. And the group has committed to the Empire off stage, to play every part of the original scores of the Empire is represented in their set.
GALACTIC EMPIRE is quite frankly, the greatest metal band this side of Dantooine.You don’t have to be a Star Wars fanatic to enjoy this show. Anyone who remotely likes Star Wars will love this band. A moderate super-fan like myself will LOVE this band and the ultimate Fanboys of Star Wars will think they’ve died and been absorbed by The Force.
The Force is strong with this band and even the most loyal Rebel fan will have to put their entire being into resisting succumbing to The Dark Side. For the hour that GALACTIC EMPIRE played last night, the excitement and pageantry of the music lured me to give into The Dark Side…but I resisted! It did however, give me an absolute, hands down and hand to the Emperor, a new respect for the enemy…or at least the music that plays in the background of said enemy!
Look for my interview with Chris Kelly, DARK VADER in the next few days as we kind of dive in to some specifics of GALACTIC EMPIRE, their upcoming record through RISE RECORDS, and where we both fall on the Star Wars timeline according to our Earthly births. It’s a doozer!!
MAC ATTACKS!!
Now, for the menacing metal of MAC SABBATH! Que the instant craving for fries, the last few decades worth of tag lines to pop in your head, and make way for the clown, the thief, purple blobby thing, and a tusked cheeseburger head on a stick.
For starters, let me just say that I’m terrified of clowns. I don’t really know why this is a dark phobia of mine, but it is. I don’t like pictures of clowns, I don’t like people dressed up as clowns, even the nice ones that give us cotton candy at the circus and especially the kind that wad up latex filled with air into shapes that honestly, don’t look like a poodle or a bear. F that. No thank you, it creeps me out. Like I said, I don’t know why I’m afraid of them. Nothing traumatic has happened involving a clown (to my knowledge) I just find them scary AF.
As a red and yellow wrapper of sorts acted as a curtain to hide the stage for MAC SABBATH, I tried to busy my mind, telling myself that I wasn’t going to get eaten, stabbed, clubbed, shot, or slapped by the clown that was about to appear on the stage.That the clown was just a man, in a costume, pretending to be RONALD OSBORNE, front man for fast food rockers, MAC SABBATH.
Humans that were obvious cashiers or fry cooks of the restaurant pulled away the wrapper as GRIMALICE, SLAYER MACCHEEZE, and CATBURGLER took the stage and started to play. Off stage, RONALD OSBORNE began to sing while I took pictures in the pit just waiting for that bastard to enter the stage from the audience or from above – hell from thin air even – just to scare the hell out of me. Thank the Lord of the French Fry that didn’t happen or there would have been a mess in the pit to clean up…ehum.
In knowing RONALD OSBORNE, the singer of MAC SABBATH was a freakishly evil looking clown from pictures, I kinda panicked in how would I get decent pictures as I shook in my boots from the pit with him within arms reach. Let’s just say as the first song played, I was talking outloud to myself, telling myself that I would be ok, it was all ok and would be over soon. I even screamed a time or two when he loomed above or in arm’s length from me.
MAC SABBATH takes the elements of rock theatrics and incorporates them into their show totally professionally; for example the foggers were attached to red glowing eyed, Ronald the clown heads on posts. MAC SABBATH utilizes the music from BLACK SABBATH, changing the words to fit the hamburger restaurant ever so popular not only in American culture, but worldwide (and other fast food too, mind you) and is performed by the musicians in the band dressed up as warped characters from a distant branding campaign of this particular company, which will go unnamed for this story. I could tell you, but then I’m afraid that RONALD OSBORNE might have to come snatch you from your comfortable place where you’re reading this and take you to the griddle or grease trap for torture.
The MAC SABBATH music is fun and as you’re singing along with what you think is a BLACK SABBATH tune, it is immediately apparent that what you’re singing is not what the Evil Clown is singing. The song lyrics have been rewritten to parody the hamburger restaurant and the band’s feelings about them.
Their performance was impressively done; the props, the stage set, and the costumes, along with action props used by RONALD to emphasized lyrics or just draw in the audience even more. Referencing my love for theatre, I watched despite how scared I was in the pit. Watching from the audience was just as entertaining and loved seeing fan’s reactions to this strange show playing out in front of our eyes.
If you’re not familiar with MAC SABBATH’s backstory, check it out here. I don’t want to spill all the beans; especially if you’re like me and want to keep the virginity of your eyes until the show time. I will say that the musicians in MAC SABBATH are also highly skilled and seasoned. They played the music of BLACK SABBATH spot on and truly embodied what a tribute band is. MAC SABBATH is a must see for any rock fan so check out the remaining dates for this tour and keep a lookout for the next time they visit if they’re not stopping in your city or already have come through.
I do want to mention one thing that may or may not make some people upset. Truth told, if you do get upset at my opinion, then there might be a need for you to examine why you’re angry or upset; what is it that makes you think you’re not going to get something that you need or want.
Here goes: I was a little disappointed in the crowd that came to see this show. It was the end of a full day of local tribute bands with doors at 4 PM and GALACTIC EMPIRE going on at 9:15 and MAC SABBATH at 10:30. I think it’s a lot to ask the openers and their fans to stay for the last two bands almost 5 hours after doors opened. I know that there are festivals that last 3 days for heaven’s sake, so it’s not just the time of the event that I find an issue with.
While GALACTIC EMPIRE and MAC SABBATH are kinda tribute bands, IMHO they are more kinda NOT tribute bands. Where I scratch my head questioning the attendance, is where were all the Star Wars fans that dress up for lesser of events than this? I saw like one person that had a part of a Star Wars costume, and that wasn’t even on the right part of the body, they were holding it in their hands. I did see a few Star Wars t shirts, but not like I expected to see from a metropolis chock full of crazed Star Wars fans and fanatics that we have in DFW.
To that, where were all the comic fans or fans of all things strange and bizzare that rock who would appreciate and probably freak out seeing the two bands on this bill? Where were these people? I would bet that they would have loved to attend an event like GALACTIC EMPIRE and MAC SABBATH, more so than the fans of local tribute bands, I’m betting. And look, I’m not knocking the tribute bands or saying anything bad about them, the music they perform, or their fans they brought to this show. There are killer tribute bands in DFW and the bands that I did see were good. It’s more than that.
Why wouldn’t these bands be booked with a special Star Wars event or costume contest, or have the 501st show up in full regalia. Or have some kind of event circling around finding the next greatest parody band contest called “A-PARODY IDOL” (ⓒⓇ TM 2018 Cherri Bird/SLB/The Bird’s Nest, all rights reserved, not to be used without permission). I’m not saying that there was anything “wrong” with how the show was billed with other tribute bands.
What I am saying is I think the mark was missed in giving these two bands the best crowd possible. I’m saying that the mark was missed in promotion of this show. I have friends that didn’t even know this show was in town and found out about it after the fact and were a bit put off that they missed it. Ya, I know, this is going to happen with any show. I get that. Where was the promotion of this show done – where or how? But if the show was billed with something more suited for what GALACTIC EMPIRE and MAC SABBATH actually do, it might have had a bigger impact on the attendance. Or was it the intent of the promoter or the venue to rely on the 8 bands booked before they played to get the word out? Interesting questions…hmmm?
I personally think that the lack of promotion or the reliance on other people to do the work of another, is in part, the downfall of touring music. From local bands to national acts, it seems that the priority of promotion is always overlooked. That is until the numbers don’t match up at the end of the night, then the subject of promotion always rears its ugly head and the fingers start pointing, and excuses start flying. Am I right?
The attendance wasn’t poor or totally embarrassing – there were a lot of people to see this show. My disappointment stems from the way the show was billed to not seeing more people that are fans of this subgenre of rock. Ya dig? Bands that tour rely on asses in seats so they can gain new fans, sell merch, and interact with core fans in different cities they travel to and bringing a band to a city holds great responsibility to assist in a band achieving this goal. I personally feel this mark was missed on the show in Dallas. I’m going to stop here and revert my opinions off of this page and save them for another place and time.
So, there you have it Lovelies! That’s my take on all things that made the MONSTERS OF MOCK VII tour rock! If I were handing out stars, I would give this tour a 4.5 out of 5 stars as being a show that rock fans must see!! I loved both bands and it’s nice to change things up a bit and to enjoy music in a way that that’s totally different than what you’re used to going to or listening to. It is inspiring to see the talent of musicians shine through not only in their playing abilities, but the different ways that art is expressed. And shows like GALACTIC EMPIRE and MAC SABBATH did exactly that!
Til Next TIme – MRML
PHOTO GALLERY
Photos by Cherri Bird
